


'Cause I wanna start living my life

by Meloenijs



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Secret Avengers, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Genderqueer Character, Getting Together, M/M, References to 616 canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-01 19:24:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2784854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meloenijs/pseuds/Meloenijs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil goes for a night out in town.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Cause I wanna start living my life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AshesandGhost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshesandGhost/gifts).



The mirror showed Phil exactly what he was expecting: a middle-aged man, balding, some random freckles, and ridiculously hairy limbs and chest. He didn’t really mind the latter on most days, but neither would he be opposed if he’d start losing hair elsewhere than just his head.

Sighing, he treated himself to an extra long shower to make up for it, scrubbing himself thoroughly and letting the shampoo and conditioner sit for longer than he had the time for on his work days. Maybe he stayed under the spray a bit longer than usual to just enjoy the heat, but then, there’s no one to chastise him.

After he’d towelled himself dry followed the dreaded task of full body hair removal. He rubbed a hair removal cream all over himself, including around the base of his penis and his balls, and then began the boring job of just standing around, waiting for the cream to do its job. He felt ridiculous like this, standing with his arms up, trying not to touch anything. And on top of that the cream smelled awfully bad.

After the required five minutes, and a few more just to be sure, he gently rinsed the cream and hair away. Smooth skin appeared under his hands as he rubbed, and he marvelled at this feeling he’d never get enough of. Once he was satisfied the cream did its job adequately, he turned back to the mirror and started applying some basic foundation to his face.

The moment suprême. His wardrobe was still open from before, when he’d decided he wanted to shave after all. So naturally, after going to all that trouble he ruled out his suits and more casual going wear. Instead, he browed his dresses – studiously avoiding the [pink mini-dress](http://dammit-clint.tumblr.com/post/95281737237/secret-avengers-2014-7) that just reminds him of bad times and he should really get rid of sometime – eventually deciding on a blue, thigh length figure-hugging [wool dress](http://www.tbdress.com/product/Bowknot-V-Neck-Wool-Long-Sleeve-Dress-11028050.html). A big bow around his waist emphasises his taille and finished the look. 

Back to the bathroom for the tiniest amount of final make-up – just to touch up his eyes – and he was ready for a night out. He put on his boots, checked himself over in the mirror in his hallway – he looked good, even if his receding hairline made him sigh internally – and swished on his jacket.

 

* * *

 

Jasper was already there when Phil arrived five minutes early, which made for a first.

“Hey Phil.”

“Jasper,” Phil nodded. They were friendly, but Phil always felt vaguely uncomfortable around Jasper after his brief fling with Nick Fury. If he’d known earlier about Jasper’s unrequited crush on Nick, he wouldn’t have been so casual about it around their friends.

Speaking of the devil, Nick was the next to arrive. He greeted the both of them and immediately waved someone over to order drinks.

“Got a small crisis at the job. You know what it’s like when we all try to leave,” he offered at Phil’s raised eyebrow. Sadly, Phil did. He was glad he had the foresight to take the entire day off.

“Yeah, laugh it up, Phil. Tomorrow you can clean up the aftermath.”

Phil didn’t react to the taunt. That’s what his job was anyway, taking care of everyone else’s messes. It’s not what he’d imagined doing when he was young and still had a full head of hair, but that’s how life goes. Unexpected and down the drain. Or maybe he was still stuck on his lost hair.

Jasper’s foot jostled his leg. “Phil, you’re making that face again.”

Phil stomped on Jasper’s foot and straightened his expression. “It’s the lovely company here that draws it out,” he said, glancing at his friends’ bald heads. “I’m not ready to join you in the lack of hair department.”

A hand slides into his hair on the back of his head and pulls gently.

“It seems to hold on fine. For now,” Maria Hill smirked as she stepped from behind him, hand in hand with Melinda May.

He smiled at them in welcome. “The day I lose my last hair is the day I’ll shave your heads so you can join in my mourning.”

Melinda managed to convey her urge to slap him with just a look. She’d always been a woman of little words.

 

* * *

 

A lot of alcohol got consumed, and not all of it by them.

One chair gave up its life. Several glasses shattered.

The latter is what pulled Phil’s attention away from the story Maria was telling, something about a guy who may or may have been on the world’s most wanted list of criminals and who may or may not have a serious crush on her. Phil wished Maria the best of luck with her new admirer and focused on the guy who’d smashed a whole tray of glasses into the floor.

He was swaying on his feet and making repetitive gestures with his hands, seemingly trying to convey the same message over and over to his audience. He stopped when someone put a hand on his arm and tried to move him, forcefully pulling out of their grip and stumbling closer to their table.

“Bro, don’t do that, bro,” he yelled, patting the pockets of his track suit. He made an annoyed face when all he found was a packet of cigarettes.

Someone else came up to him and the guy took a swing at them. Phil was up and out of his seat before he knew it, his friends following seconds behind him. The other guy dodged the swing and edged away, holding up his hands.

The first guy is looking around now, stopping when he spotted a bottle and reached out to grab it. Phil stepped forward, moving to bring the bottle to safety where it wouldn’t end up being thrown at some stranger’s head. It brought the attention of the man on him.

“Bro, you don’t want to get into this.”

“No, she doesn’t, it’s me you want,” the other guy spoke up.

“This isn’t over, bro,” tracksuit spit. “We know where you live.”

He stormed past the other guy, bumping shoulders and slamming the door behind him.

Phil only noticed the rest of the cafés patrons had stopped and watched the scene when they lost interest and resumed talking.

“Thanks for helping, miss.” Phil looked up to see the other guy standing in front of him, looking all earnest and wide-eyed. He smiled softly.

“I’m not a Miss. But you’re welcome.”

The guy’s eyes raked over him from top to toe lightning quick. “Oh. Sorry for assuming.” He held out his hand. “I’m Clint. Can I get you anything to thank you?”

“Phil,” Phil offered. He glanced around him, noticing his friends had disappeared into the shadows and were no doubt keeping a keen eye on the conversation. “And I’ll have a gin and tonic.”

 

* * *

 

Phil learned quite a bit about his new drinking partner. Clint had saved a dog from being abused by the earlier guy in a tracksuit and taken it in in his own place. Where they were right now, being accosted by said dog looking to get petted.

Phil also learned Clint fed his dog _pizza_. What the hell.

Moving on. Clint gave him a tour of his place, ending at the mezzanine where his bedroom was.

“Hey, Phil. I really like that dress. It would look even better – ”

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence,” Phil said. “Or it will never get to meet your dust motes.”

Clint looked up from under his eyelashes.

“We can’t have that. Look at how lonely they are,” he said while kicking the clothing closest to him out of view.

Phil reached behind him to undo the bow around his waist, casually dropping it.

“Let’s do something about that.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, he left for work wearing a borrowed jeans and t-shirt from Clint, his dress left on the floor, getting dusty.

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone curious, the story Maria is telling about is the current storyline in Secret Avengers vol. 3 regarding MODOK. Go check it out.


End file.
